We’re still waiting. During the cold weather last winter, Gerald Warner, Peter Mullen and a host of other climate change deniers lined up to suggest that there must be something wrong with global warming theory, because some snow had fallen in Britain. Clearly they possessed the mystical ability to divine a long-running global climate trend from a single regional weather event. This clairvoyance could be very useful to climate researchers, so I hoped they would continue to favour us with their insights.

But, to general wailing and gnashing of teeth, they appear suddenly to have abandoned us. Where are these oracles, now that we need to consult them about the current weather event? If a single cold snap in the UK persuades them that global warming isn’t happening, then a single heatwave in the same place must surely convince them that it is. Logic would dictate that the world must now be destined for a century of heating – until the next cold snap, whereupon it is obviously destined once more for a century of cooling.

It would be sacrilege to accuse these seers of inconsistency, so it can be only a matter of time before they issue their revised assessment of global climate trends. I understand that, pending their pronouncement, Nasa and the Met Office have put their research programmes on hold. Please don’t keep us waiting too long.

monbiot.com